Selective Eating: Say this, not that!
May 14, 2025
Tangible strategies for a parent/guardian of a picky eater

Our Registered Dietitian (RD) has some practical tips to incorporate into mealtime for a more successful, enjoyable child-food relationship. The goals of these interaction are to create a positive relationship with food, enjoy happy meal times, reduce anxiety, reduce battles surrounding food, and fitting all types of food into a healthy lifestyle.
Mealtime Tips from an RD:
- Choose not to bribe
- Parents can decide WHAT is being served, WHEN it is being served and HOW it is being served; Children can decide IF they want to eat it and HOW MUCH they want to eat.
- Family meals are so important (even if only a couple of times a week), as at family meals, parents can model behaviors.
- Use meal time for talking and catching up about the day, reduce electronic (TV, tablet, phones) distractions.
- Be sure each meal contains at least one preferred food.
Say/Do this… Not that…
You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to. | You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to. |
---|---|
Wait without comment | You loved it when you were a baby. |
We will have XXXX soon. | When your child is unhappy with the men. |
This pasta is the same as the one I’ve cooked before, just a different shape. (No need to explain further.) | This is sooo yummy, you’ll love it. |
Let’s enjoy a bite of candy a little bit later OR serve candy with dinner. | Candy is junk food; You can’t have dessert unless you eat XXXX. |
Could we please have a side of bread for the table? (at a restaurant) | My picky eater will only eat bread, could we please have some? |
Have your child help blend up zucchini for muffins. | Don’t sneak food into recipes. |
You can eat it when you are ready. (Be sure to have them sit at the table for an age appropriate amount of time and then let them leave if they want.) | Take a bite of everything on your plate, then you can be excused. |
Can you describe XXXX it to me? | XXXX looks/smells funny/strange. |
Just don’t say anything. Try not to ‘sell’ the food. | I made it the way you like it. |
Kitchen is closed and will open again at XXXX time. | Child is ‘grazing’ and parent allows it bc they are concerned the child hasn’t eaten. |
It is best for a child to sit at a table or counter. Children can be more in tune to their hunger/fullness cues and safer for them. | Child wants to walk around and eat. |
Parent says: That’s ok, you don’t have to eat it. | Child says: Broccoli is gross. |
Act neutral and just don’t react. |

Apraxia is a motor speech disorder. Childhood apraxia of speech is a rare, but lifelong disorder that makes it difficult for individuals to move their mouth muscles in order to speak. The important thing to note about Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS) is that the child knows what they want to say, but may struggle with connecting the brain to the muscles that must accompany speech.

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